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Licensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview.

X Expert Source Jessica January Behr, PsyD If you have values that don't align with the genre of porn he watches, communicate that.

It is hypocritical to believe that you can have freedom over your fantasies and he can not.Īsk yourself if you have any objections to having porn in your relationship. Men and women both fantasize about people who are not their lover, it could be movie stars, people from real life, a cartoon, whatever it may be. If you are thinking of banning porn to make your boyfriend only think of you sexually, that is not reasonable. If he chooses to stop using porn, he will still masturbate and he'll still have fantasies.If your boyfriend does not see eye-to-eye with you and how you feel, he will most likely do nothing to change, and you cannot change him even if you try. You can grow together, although it will not be easy and the use of counseling, couples counseling, or online programs like No Fap, will help significantly.

If he agrees with you and would like to stop using porn not only for the relationship, but also for himself. Porn is a substance that can be addictive, and if you believe that he may have an issue based off of how the porn effects your relationship, he also has to see that.If your boyfriend is okay with you watching porn, and he also thinks it is okay for him to watch porn then the two of you can have a better, open conversation on how you can incorporate it into your bedroom and fulfill each other's fantasies. If you feel tempted to snoop, or pick through his search history, you may find at the end of that road even more distrust and dishonesty. If you can understand the reasons he may have for watching porn or the reasons you enjoy watching porn, you can mutually grow and include the porn into your sex life. If you are unsure, try to imagine yourself watching porn, or maybe you do watch porn. If it is only certain genres of porn that upset you, make sure to talk about this with him and let him know why it makes you feel the ways you do. If you feel okay with the porn, the concept of keeping him from watching it should not arise. This behavior causes distrust in the relationship, and can cause him to keep his porn use hidden from you, or cause tension and discomfort while talking about the subject. Unfortunately, if you know you are not okay with porn and you try to keep your significant other from watching it, you may fall into a pattern of being the 'porn police'. Don't try to ban it, but establish each other's boundaries to the relationship.

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